When you’re logged onto Match, furtively scrolling through hundreds of girls’ profiles, you probably don’t spend a lot of time forming that first opinion. In fact, data shows both men and women will form an impression within one tenth of a second of glancing at a stranger’s face in a photograph.
You can have the sexiest, most appealing dating photo in the world, but tacking a horrible username on it has roughly the same effect as that iceberg had on the Titanic. Don’t sabotage your amazing profile with a weak username – put some thought into it.
In online dating, first impressions might be your only chance.
To put it in perspective, pretend you’re a young, hot woman (you know, the kind you want to date). Now imagine opening your inbox, which is flooded with hundreds of messages. Are you going to click on the one from “Asstazztick”? Hell no, and neither is she.
A strong username will increase your response rate from women, while a weak one will lump you in with the pile of other losers she’s already forgotten about. After all, an uncreative, slapped together username like “John123” subconsciously tells her you don’t take online dating seriously, you’re unimaginative, and you’re such a slug you can’t be bothered to spend a few minutes trying to impress the online dating multitudes (and specifically, her.)
Don’t be that guy.
When choosing a username, avoid sounding desperate, like LifetimeLove4U, fit4another, or lookin2committ. No woman surfs OkCupid hoping to find a guy so weak and depressed he needs therapy. Project confidence, like an alpha male does.
You also don’t want to sound like all you think of is sex – FantasyMaker22, Squeegie_Taco (that just sounds wrong) or anything with the numbers “69” in it. If a 7th grade boy would find it amusing, that’s a clue not to use it.
Along those same lines, don’t pick a name that sounds gross, icky, or just plain unappealing , like these guys did: Mr_Sluggo (he hates salty food!), Hungry4Ladies (is he a cannibal?), IDon’tHaveEbola (don’t link your profile with disease in her mind) or Primate1967 (who wants to date a monkey?).
File this under obvious, but a brief glance through my most recent OkCupid matches made me realize I have to point it out: stay away from violent words when picking a name. Online dating is scary enough for a woman, don’t creep her out before you’ve even messaged her. I’m talking to you, HippieSlayer.
The name you choose should look like you put some actual thought into it. Nothing about a random string of numbers and letters, like “DR42785”, communicates that you have brains and creativity to spare. Neither do names like “GarysUserName” and “TheSeattleOne”.
So what’s a good username?
You want a username that inspires, informs, and intrigues her. Easier said than done, right? Don’t worry, it’s not hard to do, and should only take you a few minutes. Grab a piece of paper, and write down some words associated with your occupation, some of your hobbies, and some adjectives or verbs you think sound interesting. (Thesaurus.com is a great source of inspiration, by the way.)
Are you in IT? How about a name like “TechViking”, “ITCowboy”, or “DataWrangler”. A chef? “SizzleGarlic” is interesting, and “sizzle” is a fun word to say. Highlight your business success without bragging with a name like “Worlds4TheTaking”.
Inject some alpha into the equation.
Strong words subconsciously convey your alpha male status – “CommandPer4mance”, “Ahead0fThePack” and “theWarriorWithin”, for instance.
Look at your list of hobbies, and think of some powerful words associated with them. Rugby player? How about “RuleTheRuck” or “AllAboutTheBlitz”. Surfer? Try “ridetheWaves” or “seizethesurf”.
Or go the inspirational route, and choose a username implying good things to come if things work out between the two of you. “PackYourPassport” and “AroundThisWorld” suggest vacation adventures in her future if she responds to your message.
A bit of mystery also helps you stand out of the crowd. “RaisedByWolves”, “GetAwayDriver”, and “IfYouOnlyKnew” show creativity and a flair for the dramatic, qualities which intrigue women.
Do you have a unique hobby? Urge her to ask you questions with a name like “IJuggleFire” or “HandMeTheMic”.
Remember, increasing your response rate is the ultimate goal and piquing her curiosity about you helps ensure she’ll respond to your opening message.
DO: use strong, interesting words to capture her imagination, tell her something about you, and make her want to know more.
DON’T: use creepy, unappealing, or boring words that make her think you’re lazy, unimaginative, desperate or sex-obsessed.
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