Are you tired of not getting responses to the messages you send on online dating sites and apps?
Whether it’s Match.com, OkCupid, POF, or Tinder, it sucks sending a message to a girl you really like and getting ignored. This is why most guys give up entirely within just a few months. It’s incredibly frustrating and exhausting when you put hours into online dating and don’t hear back from the women you message.
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Don’t throw in the towel just yet – we’ve got 11 online dating first message examples that work like magic to get responses, and you can use them today!
Not only will you get message ideas you can use right now, you’ll also get the online dating message tips you need to come up with your own unique messages. All you need to do is follow the expert advice in this short article and watch your inbox fill up with women who are excited to meet you in person!
Go For Laughs
Funny online dating messages get responses because women naturally find guys with a sense of humor attractive. It’s true – scientists have proven it. The trick, of course, lies in actually being funny.
On Tinder, you can pair an attention-grabbing GIF with a humorous message:
Finding common ground is a pro move, because if you can make her think the two of you are similar she’s more likely to respond. Women are simply more comfortable around people who remind them of themselves.
Which brings us to our next examples:
Connect On Common Ground
Travel makes an awesome subject for a first message because it’s something most women enjoy doing, or at least enjoy dreaming about. And who doesn’t like to at least think they have a great sense of adventure?
Many online dating sites like Match.com and OkCupid have keyword searches, so you can filter for women who also enjoy a certain hobby. So if you’re into skiing for instance, you can can send a message like example #3 to any interesting women who have this word in their profile.
On a dating app like Tinder or Bumble, you can take a quick glance at her photos and bio to see if any common interests jump out. For instance if you find you both love dogs, you could send a message like this:
You’ll save a ton of time once you have a “go-to” copy and paste message for any hobby that you’d like to share with your matches. (Skeptical about the effectiveness of copy & paste? Read this article.)
Inspire A Craving
(Note: A long message like this example is a better fit for dating sites like OkCupid or POF. You’re going to want to keep your messages quite a bit shorter on apps like Tinder and Bumble.)
Certain words are attention grabbing because they sound delicious. Chocolate, cheesecake, ala mode… who wouldn’t want to keep reading?
Notice how it starts off with a light compliment. Complimenting her will often give you points, but only if you focus on intangible qualities like intelligence or her accomplishments.
Don’t make the rookie mistake of praising her physical appearance. Tons of guys do it, and she gets tons of messages with some variation of “you’re hot”. Paying her a more meaningful compliment is a breath of fresh air for her.
Mentioning something yummy-sounding works just as well on dating apps. In fact, dating app Hinge discovered women are 40% more likely to reply to messages about food.
Here’s a short, delicious sounding message that’s perfect for a dating app:
It’s basic human nature to love talking about yourself. In fact, it literally stimulates your brain and makes you feel good. Ask her a question that gets her to share something about herself, and she’s instantly in her Happy Place. And the better she feels about talking to you, the more likely she is to share her number.
The example above is more suited for a dating site where longer messages are the norm, but you can get her talking about herself on a dating app with a short message like this:
Show Off Your Creative Side
Most of your competition is sending her lame first messages like “Hey, how was your weekend?” and “Hi, I’m John.” That’s great news for you, because it gives you the opportunity to shine by asking her an interesting, creative question.
Here’s what all 11 of these first message examples have in common:
- They instantly pique her curiosity. If she doesn’t even want to keep reading, why would she bother responding?
- They set you apart from the crowd. Remember, if she’s getting tons of messages from guys just like you. You’ve got to out-message them every time.
- They ask her a question. You need to make it as easy as possible for her to respond, and controlling the conversation is a simple way to do it.
Those three elements are crucial if you want to get a response to your online dating opener. Miss one of them, and she’s moving on to the next guy.
Of course, there’s no copy and paste message that’s guaranteed to work every time you send it. There’s a ton of variables involved, like your photos and your profile. If those aren’t top notch, our Ultimate Guide To Online Dating has all the tools you need to bring them up to snuff.
Other variables you can’t control, like what she’s doing when she’s reading your message. If she’s sneaking a peek at her Match.com profile in between meetings, she may not have a chance to respond and forget to come back to it later.
If you don’t get a response, give her a second chance. Send her a light-hearted follow up message like this one:
But if she still doesn’t bite, move on. The more messages you send, the more desperate you look. Besides, there’s plenty more interesting, attractive women out there so focus your efforts on them.
Why Savvy Guys Use Copy & Paste Messages
Now let’s talk about the elephant in the room: copy & paste messages. A few online dating “experts” will tell you they don’t work. Women are too smart to fall for them. They’re a huge turn off. Blah blah blah. Those guys clearly haven’t done their homework.
Here’s the truth in a nutshell. Statistically speaking, you’re looking at an uphill battle. The average guy has to crank out 114 messages in order to be 99% sure of getting one reply – and spend around 6.7 hours a week doing it.
Given that fact, why would you spend tons of time scanning each and every woman’s profile, then writing a message customized just for her? That’s crazy – you don’t have that kind of time. There’s a much better way to beat those odds, and boost your response rate at the same time.
Here at VIDA, we’ve been using the copy and paste approach since 2009. Not only do copy and paste messages work, but we get incredible results for our clients with them. Our in-house data doesn’t lie.
Other industry experts recognize the wisdom of the copy and paste method as well. OkCupid’s Christian Rudder said using template messages not only saves you time in the short term, but they’re a more effective long-term strategy as well.
And even if a woman calls you out on sending a template message, so what? You’ve gotten a response that you can turn into a conversation. And many intelligent women recognize the wisdom of using them, like this one who weighed in on a Quora forum discussion:
When your first message is interesting and creative, the odds are good she’s going to reply to it. Why? Because when you ask her a question that’s fun to think about and respond to, you’ve sparked an emotional connection.
That’s the reason you’re not getting good results (if any) with first messages like “Hey” and “Hi there”. Where’s the fun in writing a response to that? And even worse, you’ve put the burden of continuing the conversation on her, so coming up with a response is work for her.
The hotter she is, the more burdened with messages she gets, so she’ll only respond to the best messages in her inbox. Nothing kills your online dating game quicker than being dull.
Meet More High Quality Women – Fast!
We’ve shared 11 first message examples that work brilliantly, but that’s only the beginning. You’ll be getting a ton of responses, which means you’ve got to keep the conversation going and ask her out.
You have to keep her attention every step of the way, and build attraction with every message. Yup – there’s a reason so many guys complain that modern dating is exhausting.
You can skip all that stress, and go straight to the dates. With ViDA, it’s really that easy. Our online dating experts handle your profile, your photo, and all that tedious back-and-forth messaging. All you do is show up for the dates! Click here to find out more.