In the not so distant past, OkCupid was better suited for artsy singles in their early 20s, but more and more it’s working really well for older singles too – and it will work even better if you write your profile in a magnetically attractive way.
If you’ve already read my previous article about profile writing tips for Match.com, then you know how to write a killer “About Me” section on Match, which is virtually the same as OkCupid’s “My Self Summary” section. The biggest difference here is you’ll want to save describing your ideal date until the end, in OkCupid’s “You should message me if…” section.
You also want your OkCupid profile to touch upon your playful and creative side, since there the site tends to attract more of the younger, artsy types.
Other than that, OkCupid has some very different subsections than Match, so if you want to know how to write an OkCupid profile like a pro, pay close attention to the following specialized tips. Let’s walk you through it section by section, so you can start off with a bang.
The first things people usually notice about me – This little section is a great place to showcase one of your strong traits that might not be highlighted in your “My Self Summary” or in your photos. Something like this could work:
That my civilized demeanor doesn’t quite fit with my less than innocent eyes.
The contrast I this example is great too, as it creates a dynamic picture of who you might be. Be careful though… if you’ve got innocent eyes, you’ll want to stay congruent with your photos. In that case, maybe try something like this:
That my sarcastic wit doesn’t quite fit with my kind eyes.
Or you could just a humorous, off-the-wall answer that’s shows you aren’t taking online dating too seriously. Here’s a really random example:
I have a terrible habit of parking my spider-mobile on the sides of buildings, and using my superhuman strength to move any vehicle blocking my path to the best spot. The guys at my gym hate it.
It might be a bit cheesy, but you get the idea.
If you get stumped on this section, just skip it. You don’t have to fill every single one out, and this one is probably the toughest.
The six things I could never do without – As I mentioned in the Match.com tips, you want to avoid lists here like the plague. Trust me. Everybody does a list and it gets really boring. OkCupid doesn’t require this section to be completed in bullet list format, so you can write everything out in a series of creative sentences.
For this section, try and think of stuff that highlights your uniqueness. However, if you absolutely must talk about mundane things like your iPod, air, food, family, a bed, and coffee, do it in a creative way… For example, if you like food and coffee, try getting into some luscious detail with it:
The smell of fresh cut steaks sizzling on the grill in my back yard. The gurgling sound that comes from my coffee maker just before a fresh steaming pot is ready to be enjoyed…
Notice how I focused on smells and sounds in my example? Tantalize the senses and get her to feel something. This is a sure way to build attraction and get her wanting to be around you in person.
I spend a lot of time thinking about – Here you might want to make her laugh out loud. It’s a great place to throw something unexpected into the mix as well. Oftentimes, what we’ll do at ViDA is take the opportunity to show off our client’s love of travel – which is attractive to women and serves as a great conversation starter. Something like this could work:
My next big adventure… somewhere new? Somewhere I’ve been but need to see again? The options are endless.
You could replace “big” above with “overseas,” “weekend,” “European,” “outdoor,” or whatever kind of travel best fits you.
Here’s a way to combine one of your favorite hobbies with some humor to get her laughing:
How to get seven of my closest friends locked into the ski trip this March… After last year’s “chipmunk/pretzel” incident, I think a couple of the guys are worried about their safety.
See how the last example shows you like to snow ski, while hinting at your adventurous, sporty side and your financial wherewithal (skiing isn’t a cheap hobby). Not only that, but it also hints at a hilarious story that she’ll be intrigued to hear more about…
Finally, you could use some self-deprecating humor, but in a way that reveals one of your more attractive qualities, like your willingness to try new things:
How in spite of about 50 face dunks into Hawaiian sea foam, I’ll still need to swallow an estimated 10 gallons of saltwater before I can call myself a “surfer.”
On a typical Friday night I am – In this section, you want to pull her into a compelling story. Something that invites her to feel how exciting and fun it is to be around you would be awesome here. Happy hour with my co-workers just isn’t going to cut it. How about this:
After taking a hot shower and exchanging the suit for a V-neck and jeans, I'll head over to this hole-in-the-wall on the Hudson where my best friends and I unwind with a couple beers after a crazy week at the office. Before long though, I’m ready for some California rolls at my favorite Sushi place in Midtown… the more wasabi the better.
You should message me if – Marketers use a “call to action” at the end of the sales materials they create that tell the reader or listener exactly what to do next, and you’ll want to borrow this technique here. Don’t assume interested women will know what to do next or even take action if they do… be clear about exactly what they should do and encourage them to do it.
In this section, you can also challenge her a little bit by mentioning the qualities you’re looking for – and set the bar high. Women like a guy who knows exactly what he wants and if you challenge her, she’ll be more compelled to prove that she’s good enough. Try something like this:
The type of woman I find attractive tends to be passionate about nature and getting outside. She knows the difference between a good Cabernet and a bad Sauvignon and can keep up during conversations that extend beyond the latest celebrity scandal. If that sounds like you, send me a message and let’s chat more…
See how that all came together? We set the bar high and told her exactly what to do if she qualifies.
There you have it… now you know how to rock an OkCupid profile like a pro. Now get out there and get to writing. Maybe drink a beer or a glass of wine while you’re putting it together. It’ll loosen you up and get you over the initial writer’s block. Most of all, have fun, test out different styles and see what works best for you.
If you have any other OkCupid profile tips that have skyrocketed your success, tell me about them by posting a comment below.