Online dating seems like the way to meet people these days. Your brother met his wife on Match, your best friend just got engaged to the cute girl he picked up on Tinder… even your mom managed to snag her boyfriend online.
Sounds easy enough, but there’s a hitch: Despite devoting hours and hours each week to online dating and mobile apps, most guys are still coming up empty handed. A third of men have never even gone on one single date with a woman they met online, despite their best efforts.
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If you feel like online dating has turned into a part-time job with nothing to show for it, well… you’re probably doing it wrong. Here's how to get more dates online on POF, Match.com, eHarmony, Tinder, etc. in less time than ever before:
Keep your messages short and sweet.
Data analysts at OKCupid found short messages got the highest response rates — a mere 40 to 60 characters is ideal.
Chances are she’s looking at the message on her phone, so she’s not going to scroll through multiple paragraphs. But that doesn’t mean you can just say “Hey” and be done with it.
Attractive women get flooded with messages from guys just like you every day, and you need to stand out from the competition.
Check out this article for ways to make her want to respond to you.
Use copy/paste messages.
How much time do you spend meticulously crafting customized messages for every attractive woman who catches your eye online? How many of them actually wrote you back?
The odds of getting a response are stacked against you. In fact, statistics show you’d have to send out a whopping 114 messages in order to be 99% certain of receiving a response.
But here’s the good news – using cut and paste messages really works, and it will save you a ton of time. You need a proven “go-to” icebreaker message that you can send to multiple women in just a few minutes.
Keep it simple, and keep it short. Something creative that catches her eye and is fun to answer. Try something like this:
“It looks like you have a good sense of adventure, so tell me this: If someone were to offer you an all-expenses paid trip to anywhere in the world but you had to leave in the next hour, where would you go?”
Click here for more examples of engaging messages that get results.
But don’t just save Ctrl-C/Ctrl-V for icebreaker messages. You can also save time by having prepared answers for the common questions she’s going to ask you, like “What do you do for a living?” and “What do you like to do for fun?”
Take advantage of advanced search criteria.
With literally thousands of profiles to sift through, finding a good match can be like trying to find the diamond in a coal mine. So get smart about your search strategy and use the advanced search filters.
Screen women based on specific attributes that are important to you, like whether or not she smokes, practices a particular religion, or has/wants children.
Don’t compromise on areas that are important to you, especially if you’re looking for a serious relationship. Why invest time and energy trying to initiate a relationship that won’t work in the long run?
Also make sure to sort your matches by most recent login. Ideally, you’ll want to focus on women who have been on the site within the last 24 hours. If she hasn’t been active recently, she probably won’t respond to you.
You can also use the advanced search function to select a particular hobby or keyword, like “skiing”. Then send a cut/paste message about skiing to every woman in the search results that appeals to you. Here’s an example:
“I see you enjoy skiing, so tell me… would you rather heli-ski avalanche chutes in the Swiss Alps or explore pristine glaciers in Antarctica?”
Create an icebreaker message for different subjects that interest you, like cooking, travel, or surfing. Make sure to track the success of your icebreakers, and use the ones that perform best.
Try a mobile dating app.
Why waste time being bored at a meeting when you could be searching your ideal girl on your phone?
Most mainstream online dating sites like Match.com and PlentyOfFish have gone mobile, and apps like Tinder are more popular than ever. But before you start downloading the first mobile dating app that catches your eye, do some research and pick one that actually works.
Start your search here, with these 7 Best Dating Apps.
Know when to ask her out.
Few things are worse than investing a ton of time into a promising message exchange, only to have her fall off the radar. Chances are you waited too long to ask her out on a date. If she wanted to exchange endless messages, she’d be on PenPalWorld, not OkCupid.
Here at ViDA, we’ve analyzed thousands of email conversations that led to dates for our male clients. The data shows the ideal time to ask for the date is after she’s sent you 2 or 3 messages.
Asking for the date isn’t hard, once you know how to do it right. Keep it simple with a question like this:
“You know, you seem interesting… like someone I’d like to know better. What would you say to meeting up for coffee or drinks sometime soon?”
Always offer her two date options – our data analysis revealed that giving her a choice doubled the acceptance rate. And NEVER only suggest alcoholic drinks – making that mistake cut the acceptance rate in half.
For even more tips on how to ask a girl out online, click here.
Know when to bring in the experts.
Online dating takes work, even with all our tips and tricks. You’ve already got a career to focus on, so why not outsource your online dating?
We’ll write your profile, select your photos, and even message women for you – so there’s no need to spend another Friday night alone. Click here to learn more about what we can do for you and sign up for a FREE consultation with one of our dating experts today!