How To Write A Dating Profile That Captures Your Own Brand Of Awesome…
If you're like the 98% of guys who wrote their own dating profile, your personal brand says this: Boring, The Same, Desperate, No Friends, & Can’t Please A Woman.
Guys who aren’t getting the results they want online usually need to tweak their personal brands. This is really easy to do, IF you know what you’re doing.
Here at ViDA, we do it for our clients every day, and you can use the same techniques for yourself. Considering some of the crazy challenges we’ve overcome for our clients, I KNOW you can whip your personal brand into shape to get the results you’re looking for – i.e., more dates with hotter women now.
Keep reading and you’ll learn some killer hacks and mindset shifts to make your online brand exude the essence of what every woman wants: Passion, Hilarity, Adventure, Stability, and Excitement.
Take A Cold Hard Look At Your Brand
If you met someone at a party, what’s the ONE topic you could talk about confidently for 20 minutes? What activities fill the majority of your time? What are you passionate about? What’s your job?
Ask yourself the questions above, and take a cold, hard look at your answers. Highlight the things that make you attractive to the opposite sex. For guys, look for things that indicate: Stable Income, Travel, Adventurousness, Creativity, Sense of Humor, Athleticism, Popularity, Leader, In Control Of Your Own Destiny, Successful.
If you’re having trouble, think about your friends (and enemies). You probably use personal brands to describe the people you know. To discover your personal brand, you need to look at yourself the way other people do.
He’s a firefighter
She’s an artist
He’s a ski instructor
She’s a nice girl
She’s a mom
He’s an adrenaline junkie
She’s into martial arts
He’s a hunter
The best brands realize what they are and then they pound that message home. Even if your brand isn’t the sexiest one out there (“I’m an assistant manager at a fast-casual restaurant chain”), keep in mind that most guys aren’t professional stuntmen or owners of hot air balloon companies. Most guys punch a clock, watch a little sports, and hang out with their friends. The key is to discover what you are and then OWN it.
- KFC owns chicken
- Arby’s owns roast beef
- McDonald’s owns burgers
Are each of these brands the best in quality in their respective businesses? No. But they are all very good at branding themselves – and you should be, too.
Your “Brand” Should Be Unique
It’s tempting to try and be a little of everything. We describe our taste in music as “eclectic.” We cite our favorite foods by saying “I like everything.” We use vague descriptions like “I’m up for new experiences and adventures.” It’s like we’re trying to appeal to everyone.
The problem is this. Nobody raves about the chain restaurant that’s the same in every city. But people wait for hours for a table at the cool, new place that’s been getting all the buzz.
When it comes to online dating, you need to create some buzz. The beautiful woman you saw online gets 100+ messages a day from guys who look like every other guy (boring, normal, nothing special). To stand out from the proverbial crowd… to truly be seen as different than other guys… you need to be memorable – you need a brand that makes her say “Holy [email protected]#% That Guy Is Hot.”
- George Clooney (Serial Bachelor, Movie Star)
- Bono (Rock Star/Philanthropist)
- Sir Richard Branson (Billionaire Playboy)
Even if you’re not filthy rich or ridiculously good looking, you can still be known by how you position your brand. Here are three different interpretations of the same person:
“I met a guy who works on cars a little, and does some consulting work.”
“I met a guy who’s a mechanic.”
“I met a guy who restores classic cars.”
“I met a guy who can fix anything. He’s got strong and sexy hands. He’s so manly.”
Concise. Easy to get your head around. Sexier than consulting work, whatever the hell that is. Figure out who you are and then find the most attractive way of describing it.
Here's another example to illustrate:
“I’m a laboratory assistant for a research lab corporation.”
“I help develop drugs for disease treatment”
“Some people fight cancer by signing up for a 5K race…I fight cancer in a lab and I intend to win.”
The funny thing is, even a rock star might look at his job as boring. He might say, “Yeah, I stand up and sing in front of a bunch of people who think I’m cool even though I’m not. It’s the same thing every time.” Talk to the average doctor & lawyer and he’ll tell you that it’s not as glamorous as he thought it was going to be. The trick is to zero in on the ATTRACTIVE and EXCITING side of everything…
Even if you’re bored to tears of your job, try and think of it in terms of the “BEST” examples above and describe it that way in your profile.
Specialize The [email protected]#$ Out Of Yourself
Consider the power of expertise and specialization. Who do you want operating on your torn rotator cuff, a general orthopedist or a sports medicine shoulder specialist? Don’t you feel just a little better when your sushi chef is Japanese? Who do you want working on your vintage Mercedes? We all want specialists. No woman ever signed up for a dating site to meet guys who do “a little of this and a little of that.” Nobody wants a dabbler. We all want specialists.
- Corona specializes in the Beach
- Coors Light specializes in Cold
- Dos Equis specializes in Suave & Interesting
There’s no rule of online dating that prevents you from branding yourself by your passions or hobbies instead of your “day job.” Be a tennis pro, a songwriter, a cyclist, a chef, or a tattoo artist… It doesn’t matter what you are, as long as you’re interesting. People remember specialists, not generalists.
Take me for example… I’ve spent 15 years in sales. I now work as a writer for people on dating websites. Guess which job people want to talk to me about at parties?
Brand Yourself By Your Passions
Just because it pays the bills, it doesn’t have to define you. You might spend 40 hours entering code and 5 hours hang gliding on the weekend, but I guarantee that more people will want to talk about hang gliding. If you’ve got a boring job, then “quit” that job (figuratively). Brand yourself by your passions, instead.
Day Job Branding
My girlfriend is a marketing coordinator (who teaches kickboxing)
My girlfriend does freelance writing (she sometimes gets paid to travel)
My girlfriend works at an insurance company (and rides motorcycles on the weekend)
Branding by Passions
My girlfriend teaches kickboxing
My girlfriend is a travel writer
My girlfriend rides a Ducati
Doesn’t that same girl sound sooooo much sexier when you describe her by her passion rather than her career?
That said, you do need to show that you HAVE a job. Just don’t make it “Who You Are.” Also, your stated passions should appeal to other people. There’s no victory in being known as “The Math Guy.” And finding women who love World of Warcraft anywhere near as much as you is going to be a tough one. Delete the unattractive stuff from your brand. Let her find out about that later…
Remember: Women MUST want your brand. It works the same in reverse. Not many guys are looking for a girl to go antiquing with. And guys don’t usually fantasize about a hot weekend spent scrapbooking and making cat toys to entertain the feline friends who share a bed with you.
Dress It Up
Once you’ve established your specialty (“I’m a Yoga Instructor”), the next step toward building your brand is to dress up that specialty to make it appealing like we did with the example descriptions above. This doesn’t mean you lie about yourself. Just make sure to sell the sizzle, not the steak. Here are some more examples of dressing up your brand:
“I teach Yoga Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays.”
“I’m a Yoga instructor. Mostly Bikram.”
“I teach Yoga. Show me your ‘ohm’ face and I’ll make you feel great in 30 minutes or less.”
The Proof Is In The Pictures
Lastly, if you’re going to make claims about your brand, be prepared to show it. If you say you’re “addicted to the beach,” then your profile pictures had better prove it. If you’re a “slave to fashion,” then you’d damn well better be dapper in your photos. And if you live for snowboarding, show the picture of yourself wearing that leg cast with the caption: Worst. Day. Ever.
Whether you’re the funny guy, the trust fund kid, the jokester, Mr. Competitive, the fitness nut, or the creative type, there’s a brand in each of us just waiting to be featured. What’s yours?