You’ve been on a dating site for months now, but still no dates. The women who interest you the most just aren’t biting. And the ones who do respond aren’t the caliber of matches you really want to meet.
Can’t figure out what you’re doing wrong? Don’t worry – you’re about to find out!
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Here are 5 reasons your dating profile sucks, and how to fix it:
1. Your photos are weak sauce.
When she’s scrolling through your photos, she’s forming that all-important first impression of you. She’s noticing tiny details in every photo, like your expression, your posture, even your clothing and what’s in the background – and she’s judging you on all of it.
Through a process called “thin slicing”, all those little details instantly impact how she feels about you. It’s a decision she’ll make within seconds. If you want to score dates with the most attractive local women, you need to make sure she likes everything she sees.
And no, you can’t skip the photos altogether in hopes of igniting her curiosity with an amazing profile. Some guys are still making this basic mistake, and it's sabotaging their results.
With no photo on your profile, you’ve just made yourself invisible to all the women who exclude profiles with no photos from their search results. And the women you message probably won’t respond – they’re likely to assume you’ve got something to hide.
The good news is, you don’t need to look like Ryan Reynolds to have photos that appeal to women. Follow these photo tips to make sure your first impression is a good one:
- Hire a pro photographer. But don’t pose in front of a boring studio background – you don’t want anyone to KNOW you hired a professional photographer, right? Have the pictures taken outside, preferably during the “golden hour”. The warm, golden light during the 60 minutes right after sunrise and just before sunset makes everyone look their best.
- Be in your element. Have a friend with a good camera snap a few pics of you doing something you love. Maybe it’s tossing a football or Frisbee around, riding your motorcycle, or hanging out at the lake. Remember, a woman will picture herself by your side when she’s looking at your photos. Be interesting, because otherwise you’ll appear boring. Your online dating profile is like a marketing campaign, so choose photos that highlight all your desirable qualities.
- Include at least one full body shot. Data analysis by Zoosk revealed using a photo showing your entire body increased messages received by 203%.
- Focus on quality. Don’t use blurry, out of focus pictures. When you post poor quality photos, they either make you look like you can’t afford a decent camera or you’re using old, outdated photos.
- Keep it casual. Travel photos are great, but limit them to 1 or 2. Chemistry.com research indicates 81% of singles want to see pictures of your casual, everyday life. Remember, she’s imagining what it’s like to date you. Hobbies, cocktails at the rooftop bar, walking your dog – show her you lead an active, fulfilling life.
- Avoid selfies. Especially shirtless, bathroom mirror selfies. 1 in 3 women called them an “almost instant dealbreaker” in a recent Match.com survey.
- Stay classy. 75% of women reported racy, suggestive photographs as their #1 online dating foul. Don’t be that guy.
- Don’t fake it. Photoshopping has its place, but leave it to the pros. They can alter a picture while keeping it realistic looking. Women have a knack for spotting touched up photos, and it’s an attraction killer. The majority of online daters prefer unenhanced and natural photos.
Click here for 21 more awesome photo tips that will get you more dates.
2. You went crazy with the uploads.
The number of photos you can upload to your profile varies from site to site. For instance, Match.com lets you use 26.
Creating a huge album is a huge mistake – it’s basically 26 chances to get it wrong. Photos are powerful tools, so all it takes is one terrible photo lurking in your lineup to instantly turn off.
An ideal photo lineup includes 3-7 pictures. Portraying multiple sides of your personality is difficult with fewer than 3 photos, and chances are you don’t look equally attractive in more than 7 of your photos.
When choosing your photos, remember that it’s not just about looking attractive – it’s also about what the photo communicates about your lifestyle. You want to impress her, without having to spell anything out.
This is the art of signalling – and if you can master it, you’re halfway to a date already.
For example, consider what these two pictures are telling her about your lifestyle:
Which guy do you think she’d rather date? The photo on the right signals you’ve got the funds to travel, you clean up nice, and you’ll take her to some interesting places. And on the left… cat naps. Literally. Not the best way to spend a Friday night…
Once you’ve compiled your strongest photos, have your female friends rate them. Post the photos they like the best, with the most popular one as your primary photo.
You can also use a website like PhotoFeeler to gather some data on what a large group of females think about your pics. Good photos will make or break your profile, so it’s worth it to see what a collective group of women thinks about your potential photo options.
Some dating apps have features that help you choose your strongest photo, like Tinder’s “Smart Photo.” The app will continuously test your photos to see which are performing the strongest, and automatically select the best one as your primary photo. According to Tinder, users who took advantage of this feature saw a 12% increase in matches.
3. You made it all about her.
Here’s a real life example:
You might be looking for “The One”, but this isn’t the way to find her. Not only do profiles like this have a whiff of desperation, they tell her nothing about the guy who wrote it.
Your profile should be 70% about you, and 30% about the type of woman you’re seeking. Studies have shown this ratio is the most attractive to women.
Here’s an easy formula to follow for the “About me” section of any online dating site:
Paragraph 1: Hook her attention and make her want to keep reading. You can tell a travel story or describe a vivid memory, anything that will elicit an emotional reaction or engage her imagination. Humor is great here if you know how to “write funny.”
Paragraph 2: Write about your hobbies, what you do for fun, etc. Remember, just like she’s picturing herself in the frame when she looks at your photos, she’s imagining herself in your life when she reads about what you like to do.
Paragraph 3: Describe what you do for a living in a sexy way. You want her to know you’re a desirable mate – financially stable and able to provide her with the finer things in life.
You can make any occupation sound desirable. For instance, if you’re an accountant, try describing your job like this:
“Monday through Friday, I’m a ninja-with-numbers, defending “the people” against the IRS. Wielding my calculator like a set of flaming nunchucks, I cause auditors to shrivel back into their cubicles in shame.”
Paragraph 4: Now’s the time to tell her what you’re looking for in a woman. You don’t want to be too specific, as that might alienate some women. For instance, choose words like “active”, “enjoys travelling”, and “laughs easily” over phrases like “must love football” or “has to be blonde”.
Once you’ve got your profile written, have a friend read it. What’s interesting to you might come off as boring or arrogant to someone else.
|For even more advice on how to write an irresistible profile, check out The Ultimate Dating Guide by Date Hookup.|
4. Your profile is just a list of adjectives.
Set yourself apart from the competition by showing, not telling. Tell her a story that shows how adventurous you are, like the time you went SCUBA diving in Hawaii or zip lining in Costa Rica.
If you’re dependable, caring, and family-oriented, describe taking your sister’s kids to a baseball game, or taking grandma out for dinner. A personal story will grab her attention far better than a boring list of adjectives or activities.
Tons of guys say they like to hike, but you might be the only one who describes hiking like this:
“It starts with a double knot at the laces. You sling your backpack over your shoulders and it’s just you, a trail, and ten miles of forest…”
Stories create an emotional connection, and if she feels connected to your profile, she’ll reply to your message.
5. You don’t have a Call To Action.
Borrow a trick from all those marketing geniuses – after you’ve described who you’re looking for, tell her what you want her to do.
“Sound like you? Send me a message, and let’s chat…”
“What are you waiting for? Go ahead, give me a wink and I’ll take it from there…”
It’s simple, it shows confidence, and it works.
The Easiest Way To Fix Your Dating Profile
We’ve just given you 5 common reasons why your dating profile sucks – now the ball’s in your court. Giving your profile a much needed facelift will pay off in spades – you’ll attract higher quality women, the kind you really want to meet.
But there’s a catch – meticulously updating your profile and photos on all the dating sites and apps you use is going to take time. Depending on what your profile looks like now, it could take lots of time.
Then factor in the other 12 hours or so per week you’ll spend going through profiles and sending messages…
Why do all that exhausting work when you could have a team of dating experts doing it for you, ensuring you get the results you want?
Here at ViDA, we’ve been creating magnetic dating profiles and making higher quality dates happen for awesome guys just like you since 2009. We know what works and what doesn’t, and we’re here to help.
Don’t spend another Friday alone – click here and sign up for your free consultation to discover how we can help you meet your ideal woman as soon as this weekend!