A lot of guys have been telling me lately that their “sticking point” when it comes to online dating is getting women to actually agree to meet up in person.
So I drew up a short list of a few very common mistakes that make guys “un-meetable”.
You may have the best profile in the world and a set of killer photos to boot. You might even be a pro when it comes to breaking the ice.
But if your conversations somehow never translate into real dates then there’s a good chance you’re making one of these deadly mistakes.
1. Bad, Confusing, Or Weird Conversation
Sometimes guys don’t really know how to hold a smooth, flowing conversation.
Women need to have the conversation flow in a way that seems fun, and relevant to them.
But men often forget this is a conversation and not an interview, just as some do on the first date (a big complaint from women). They start rapid-firing boring or prying questions that have no logical connection to one another.
It’s almost like they don’t have anything interesting to say that’s relevant to her last message, so they flip direction and say something weird or ask terrible questions, effectively confusing, annoying, or even creeping the hell out of her.
Remember that online dating messages are part of a conversation. Moving the conversation into new direction is fine, but you need to transition smoothly so that it does not feel abrupt to the reader.
As a general rule, stick to one question per email and, if it’s not relevant to the conversation you’re already having, figure out a way to lead into it smoothly. For example, if you want to learn more about her but the conversation is about something completely different, you should talk a bit about the current topic and say something like this:
“So, anyway, tell me a bit more about what you like to do most with your spare time. Your profile lists about 1,241 hobbies and interests, but no one can do it all. If you only had one completely work-free day this week and an unlimited budget, what kind of fun stuff would you be doing?”
2. Running Out Of Steam
Another really common reason guys never get the date is because eventually their conversation with the woman goes stale.
Instead of having a fun, natural conversation that flows well and builds a connection, some guys half interrogate women with questions that keep digging deeper and deeper until the conversation becomes outright boring or the woman becomes uncomfortable.
Here’s a simplified example of how this goes down:
Guy: Can you cook?
Girl: Yes, I love cooking…
Guy: What’s your favorite dish that you like to cook?
Girl: Well, there’s this chicken pasta dish that I really like…
Guy: How do you cook it??
By the third question, the conversation has become very dull and tedious to respond to. What’s more, she can’t even see where you’re going with it.
Most women will stop responding by the third question.
3. Never Asking For The Date.
The third (and saddest) reason guys really struggle to translate their interactions with women into real dates isn’t because they turn women off with bad conversation.
In fact, it’s the exact opposite. Some guys are great conversationalists online, but they never balls up and ask for the date!
At ViDA, we have both male and female clients, so we get a first hand view of the female perspective every single day.
I can’t tell you how many guys message our clients and leave them waiting…and waiting…and waiting…to be asked out.
Very often our clients will ask, “Is he going to ask me out or what?” and just based on experience, we can tell that he’s too chicken to make the move.
When things start taking too long, we ask them if they would like to suggest or even hint at taking things offline. Our female clients refuse to ask the man out first or even hint at moving to the phone 90% of the time.
They typically respond by saying something along the lines of, “If he isn’t man enough to ask me out, then he’s not the kind of guy I want anyway…”
Something tells me this isn’t limited to our clients…most women feel the same way, and that’s why it’s critical for you to man up and know when and how to ask for the date.
Want to know the best way to ask a girl out online, plus dozens more pro-tips that’ll make the online to offline transition a snap? Check out my product, the Click Magnet Dating System. I cover every aspect of the online dating process, from account creation to date preparation.
Chatting over a bottle of wine is a whole lot nicer than messaging over a keyboard. Don’t make yourself un-meetable.