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Podcast: Play in new window | Download
(Press play to begin streaming the audio or right click Download and choose save as or save link. Length: 75 minutes)
Caleb, aka “Blackdragon”, is a dating coach who took a revolutionary approach towards dating after he got divorced. He was already in his mid-30’s before he even started thinking about perfecting his game. But that didn’t stop him from becoming an absolute magnet for hot chicks.
Caleb dates a ton in his free time, and at 40 years of age, he is still able to meet and date girls in their 20s with ease. Today, he coaches men on how to attract more beautiful women into their lives by adopting the lifestyle of the modern alpha male.
But that’s not the only reason why I was totally stoked when I scheduled this interview. Caleb is also a big proponent of online dating, and has an insane amount of experience under his belt!
Like me, Caleb takes a very systematic approach to online dating and has largely streamlined the process of getting dates online. While most coaches and “gurus” will tell you that the only way to succeed on dating sites is to send women customized emails based on what they say in their profile, Caleb and I couldn’t disagree with that more.
You’ll find out exactly what I mean when you tune into this interview. Caleb and I discuss some extremely powerful techniques, so sit back, turn up the volume and get ready to start meeting the women online that you truly desire…
Here’s what you’ll learn:
• The BIGGEST Mistakes Men Make Online
• Does Reading a Girl’s Profile Help or Hurt?
• Opener Emails: Do Girls Like It Long or Do They Like It Short?
• Dating Younger Women and When to Go for the Date
• Moving from the Dating Site to Your Personal Email
• Building Attraction When Text Chatting Online
• Caleb’s Process of “Comfort Bombardment”
• Essential Record-Keeping Strategies for Internet Dating
• How Many Days to Wait with Non-Responders
• The MAIN Objectives of Your Profile Text
• How to Select Your Photos – What Kinds Do You Want?
• Showing a Hint of “Jerk” and Being Non-Needy
• Advice for Guys in Very Small Towns
• Templating Techniques for Email Number 1, 2 and 3
• The Absolute BEST Days of the Week to Send Emails
• When to Go for the Date: After How Many Emails?
• Phrasing to Use When Asking for the Date
• Facebook: Does it Work? Or is It a Total Waste of Time?
How Do I Get Over A Girl?
Posted by Scott ValdezDiscover How To Deal With Rejection Like A Pro
Have you ever spent time with a girl and experienced the kind of electric chemistry that completely blows your mind? … Only to have her drop off the face of the planet after a couple of dates? Or tell you “let’s just be friends”?
Let’s face it… rejection sucks. It’s not easy to deal with or get over rejection, especially when it’s by a girl you REALLY like…
And there are TOO many ways it can go down…
Maybe you met over a couple steaming cappuccinos… The jokes were flying with the sexual tension building for two straight hours. Maybe you shared a bottle of wine and took a stroll in the moonlight, sitting by the lake under the stars and your eyes just kept sticking together like glue…
And if you told your friends how the date went, maybe you described it as “effortless.”
Well, if you have a ton of dating experience, then you know a kick-ass first date doesn’t mean that much unless she was naked in your bed…
Or depending on your goals, nothing is really “real” with a girl until you’re seeing her on a regular and repeated basis or she’s your steady girlfriend.
That’s because until you’ve achieved your dating goals, whatever they may be, the feelings that come with a girl beforehand aren’t much more than hope, speculation, wishful thinking, and fantasy.
Sure, the feelings are real and they’re AWESOME, but that’s not what this article’s about… It’s about the cold hard truth of rejection.
Getting Punched in Your Emotional Nutsack
The fact is, a girl who flakes after what seems like an intensely awesome connection can send a guy into a downward spiral of self-ridicule that’s full of depressing thoughts…
“I’m not good enough.”
“I’m too much of a dork.”
“I’m too boring.”
“I’m ugly.”
Sound familiar? The list goes on…
You might even start thinking every girl is a b****, women are flakes, women can’t be trusted, they just play games, or that hurting guys is simply prime on their agenda.
Or she might become the reason you take a break from dating.
It’s tough getting turned down under any circumstance, but when you’re dating online and have the capacity to meet tons of women super-quick, rejection can happen faster than the speed of light…
The Theory of Online Dating Relativity: Rejection = More Dating Success (Squared)
You might be going on 2, 3, or even 7 dates a week with DIFFERENT women from the internet. But can you handle that much rejection? With that many dates you’ll be getting rejected left and right AND you’ll be rejecting girls left and right too.
That’s because once you get good online, you’ll be taking things OFFLINE… and in the real world, it’s a whole different ballgame – a ball game where the very best players use balls of steel.
And trust me, you’ll want to have at least two of them before heading into the field.
I’m NOT saying you need to be okay with a girl who doesn’t respect you.
I’m NOT saying you need to be okay with flakey, undependable women.
I’m NOT saying you need to put up with or forgive a girl for being a total b****.
But I AM saying this: A LOT of girls will disappoint and reject you, guaranteed.
And what you need to REALIZE is this: Everybody gets rejected. That’s just as true for guys as it is for girls. And finally, rejection is the SECRET to dating success.
I don’t care who you are – and it might not have happened to him yet, but somebody’s going to rip out Justin Beiber’s heart and eat it for breakfast. I just hope he “grows a pair” before that happens, or his career could be over faster than he can say “lickity split.”
Take Your “Vitamin R” and Experience the POSITIVE Side of Rejection
Rejection is the “Vitamin R” of dating. Sure it tastes like s*** but if you take enough, you’ll be a WHOLE lot better than Popeye ever was at picking up women.
But first let’s turn the tables for a second…
Have you ever decided you didn’t want to have a second date with a girl after a date that went pretty well?
There are THOUSANDS of reasons why you might reject a girl:
There wasn’t any chemistry… She wasn’t what you thought she’d be… She had a different sense of humor… You were too busy at work… Things were getting serious fast with another girl… Or you just had too many girls in your pipeline at the time.
So you rejected her because you didn’t have much of a choice in the matter, but do you want that girl falling into a downward spiral of depression? Do you want her thinking she’s no good, or that she’s too ugly or too boring to find a boyfriend? Do you want her thinking all guys are assholes, flakes, players, trying to hurt women, or just plain MEAN? Do you want her to quit dating altogether?
Well, any random girl you reject could come to any one of those conclusions, but you and I know she’d be completely wrong.
Still, guys and girls arrive at these conclusions OVER and OVER again… and that’s why you need to change your mind and start looking at rejection as your medicine for success.
Therefore, your mindset-shift, “Vitamin R” formula for overcoming rejection is this:
Don’t try to change girls. Don’t try to change yourself into someone you’re not. Don’t give up.
Know that EVERYBODY gets rejected, and if you’re not getting rejected a lot then you’re NOT dating enough…
And finally, each rejection is a cause for celebration. It’s proof that you got out there… proof you’re becoming a Click Magnet™ who’s able to meet up with tons of chicks offline.
It’s also proof you’re exposing yourself to the REALITY of dating.
And if you hang in there long enough to earn the coveted “balls of steel” that only an experienced dater has, you’ll have more dating success than you ever dreamed.
Another little-known side effect of being okay with “Vitamin R” is that (with a little bit of practice) you’ll get rejected less and less, with time.
Chalk it up to the wisdom of hard won experience… that’s just how it works.
The Wisdom of Rejection
So the secret of getting over rejection is to get rejected more?
Yeah, pretty much. You just need to get out there and get rejected so many times that you start understanding the WISDOM of rejection.
The REALITY is this: With each rejection and each failure, you are closer to your goal.
Let’s say for every 10 times you get rejected, you meet one amazing girl that you connect with on a level that a lot of men never even experience in a lifetime. That means you have to get rejected 9 times before you get what you want. That means with every rejection you’re 10% closer to your goal.
Who knows? Maybe you’ll get lucky and meet a great girl on the fifth go around… But one thing is definitely for sure. You’ll never experience the bliss of dating success without adding an ample portion of “Vitamin R” to your dating regimen.
Ultimately, once you change your perspective, you’ll never feel the “sting” of rejection again.
3 Online Dating Tweaks
Posted by Team ViDAToday we have an article written by our friend Jake Vandenhoff, who is one of the leading internet dating experts out there. He’s got a wealth of knowledge about what it takes to meet attractive women online, so we hope you enjoy the information he’s about to share with you today…
One of the great things about online dating is that it allows you the opportunity to test out all sorts of different things on a massive scale without even leaving your house.
Back in the day, I got real nerdy with this stuff and did a ton of online experimentation. I discovered that there are dozens and dozens of little tweaks that you can apply to your dating profile and emails that can greatly improve your results as soon as you apply them.
Some of these tweaks seem really crazy while others are just common sense things that a lot of guys somehow overlook, but they all factor in…
Here are 3 of the “biggies” that I’ve found can make the most dramatic impact:
1) Lose the dopey smiling pics
Have you heard about the importance of smiling at chicks yet? Everybody seems to act like this is some kind of breakthrough… And while smiling at women is generally a smart move out in the real world (so long as you don’t overdo it), too much smiling in your pictures makes you look like a chump.
In fact, the folks over at OkCupid did some testing on this and they agreed with me. Their tests showed that on average guys got the best results with pictures where they neither smiled, nor looked into the camera! It seems a bit counter intuitive after all that we’ve heard about how attractive smiling is, but online, the statistics say otherwise.
2) Add some pizzazz to the first paragraph
If your picture is good enough to get her to click through to your profile, then the next step is having a profile that captures her attention and makes her feel like she needs to get to know you… To make this happen it’s crucial that the first couple sentences of your profile are interesting enough to get her to keep reading.
Most guys opening lines are as boring as dirt and are full of the same old tired clichés that a woman has seen a zillion times over… you know, stuff like: “Hey there, I’m Jake, thanks for reading my profile. I’m a really funny laid back guy who loves sports and dogs…”
Chance are that she actually likes funny laid back guys, and she probably likes dogs and sports too… But that alone is not enough to make you stand out in the ocean of other likable, boring dudes who also like dogs and sports.
Instead, you need to show your unique personality, and more importantly show her that you aren’t afraid to express your uniqueness, and rock it…
3) Lose the cocky attitude when you email her
One huge mistake that I see guys making over and over again when they email girls is that they try to be too much of a challenge. In fact, guys often will say things that are borderline rude because they think that they need to show off how “non-needy” they are. And then they wonder why they don’t get responses!
I believe that this is the result of a lot of the crappy dating advice that’s available out there. For some reason guys get it in their heads that they need to be all cocky, and funny, and flirty and show that they have “high value” and so forth in their emails when really nothing could be further from the truth!
When you “try hard” to attract a woman online you come across as exactly that – a “try hard” kind of guy, and women don’t want to date “try hards”.
Instead, women want guys who are pre-selected and already have options, and guys like that don’t need to try hard or jump through hoops to get a date. So keep it simple, say what’s up and start a conversation.
One of the easiest ways to do this is simply to find something in her profile that interests you and then asking her a friendly question about it. Then when she writes back get her number – and badda-bing, you’re in business.
About The Author:
Jake Vandenhoff is a dating coach for men and author specializing in self-development. His programs help men build self-esteem and transform their love lives. For more information on how to attract women online, proven methods for creating powerful chemistry, and much more, visit his website at AttractAndConquer.com and Download 2 FREE PDF Reports (Limited Time free offer!).